I don’t love myself

This is a very intense realization I had today. Everything I do that makes me happy, I do because me being miserable hurts people I care for. I think about the people I love and I just don’t feel that way about myself in any way. If you ask me for my strengths and weaknesses, I can list weaknesses for days but struggle to come up with more than a strength or two. I’m not stupid or incompetent or cruel. I’m not isolated or even super unhappy. I just don’t really value any of the good qualities I have. I don’t think I hate myself. I’m more just indifferent towards my own existence.