Oatly? Fuck Oatly. Also, Fuck Fuck Oatly. And so on.

Reminds me of that Homestar Runner line: "Mine's are shipped from a third-world country called Homemáde so I can legally print 'From Home Made' on the prepackaged package."

For locked-down devices, they'll be running LTSC or LTSB editions (Long-Term Support Channel/Branch), or Windows Embedded, which are simplified and heavily customisable versions of Windows. For general-purpose devices, they'll be using Pro or Enterprise versions of Windows which, crucially, support Group Policy. Using GP it is very, very easy for a single admin to configure an arbitrarily large number of Windows machines to work exactly how they want them to work, including configuration options that aren't otherwise exposed to the end user in any way.

Edit: just to add: the lack of an equivalent of Group Policy is what is preventing Linux becoming widespread in businesses. If you think you know of a service for Linux that works like Group Policy, then you don't know Group Policy.

Related: GTA games are full of parody companies and brands with childish humour and, yes, there's a sportswear brand in GTA called ProLaps. Their motto is "Strain Hard".

"...and she never even saw the license plate."

It's the Express, so you can safely ignore it.

Recent front page headlines from the Express (if some of these aren't real yet, they will be at some point):

• Evil EU Bastards Forcing Millions Of Innocent Brits Out Of Retirement Homes
• Revealed: Why The Woke Leftist BBC Won't Heap Praise On The Neo-Nazis
• Statins Found To Cure Cancer, But Why Won't The NHS Supply Them?
• Out-Of-Touch Woke BBC Bosses Ban Cockfighting
• Frage BLASTS Starmer, EU: "Britain Should Be Free To Take Statins."
• Join The Express's Campain To Get LIFESAVING STATINS On The NHS.
• EXPOSED: The £1,000,000-a-Night Hotel That Illegal Immigants Are Being Housed Near
• Farage Hails Latest Brexit Victory: "It Hurt The EU Too"
• Statins Add Ninety Years To Life, But Kier Starmer, EU Wants You Dead
• Exclusive: BBC Pervert Bosses License Fee Funded Sex Pit Imagined.
• So-Called NHS So-Called Experts Say: Statins Dangerous. The Express Says: Hunt Them.
• Collapsing EU in SHAMBLES As Trade Deal Blows Up In Their Dirty Foreign Faces As Euro PLUMMETS 0.002%
• Farage: Trade Deal Deaths "Will Only Make Britain Stronger"
• Express Success: NHS Statin Trial To Begin.
• Another Brexit Victory: Brown People Die At Sea
• NHS Statin Deaths: Why Did Kier Starmer, EU Do This To Us?
• All Foreigners Are Rapists

Tom Hunt, if you're reading this, I've just done your job for the next year.

Corrections:

MacOS:

• Featureless Apple™-branded oblong with 195% profit margin (support for 160% profit margin dropped in Apple™ Mac™OS™ 12.8.3.1.6.4 West Coast Yuppie Resort)
• Devices no more than two years old
• No pride, self-respect, personality, etc, except that provided by ownership of Apple™ products.

For Windows:

• CPU generation newer than an arbitrary, shifting and easily-bypassed watershed.
• 1, 2, 4, 16 or 128GB of RAM, depends who you ask.
• Windows License 😉
• Copilot+ AI requires Microsoft CoPilot+ AI compatible Microsoft CoPilot+ AI CoProcessor+ and Microsoft CoPilot+ CoProcessor+ AI Microsoft CertificAItion+
• A lack of awareness or interest in operating systems.

For Linux:

• Turing-completeness.
• Memory, networking, inputs, outputs, power (optional).
• Another computer to occasionally Google who 'initramfs' is and why he won't let you boot.

The Onion: Teen Nearly Experiences Consequences.

Do you think you should be penalised if you got ChatGPT to sit the math test for you?

Yeah, I was like, "Wow, I didn't know Slim Fast was from Madrid. Wow, I didn't know Slim Fast was from Vladivostok. Wow, I didn't know Slim Fast was from Anchorage. Wow, I'd didn't know Slim Fast was from Tiksi. Wow, I didn't know Slim Fast was from Chihuahua. Wow, I didn't know Slim Fast was from Jaipur. Wow, I didn't know Slim Fast was from Alert...."

"Waaaaiidaminute..."

winget install -e --id Mozilla.Firefox --accept-package-agreements already works prefectly.

Can you raise both your arms above your head? Do you smell burnt toast?

Netscape.

Anyone else remember this badboy?

For the uninitiated, BrowserChoice.eu was a popup and associated website that Microsoft was forced to create by the EU courts becasue of their monopoly in 2010.

Also, an opinion: Edge was a great browser even before they switched to Chromium. I wish they'd kept at it so there was a better variety of rendering engines out there.

Tgese Nuts lmao gottem

I'm stealing that line, thankyou.

Relevant xkcd:

Depends on your local laws and such, but in most European countries you can get a prepaid SIM card for a couple of euros/pounds/whatever at any supermarket, making them practically free. If you need a temporary number for a scammy special offer or any situation where your number is publicly visible (Gumtree, etc) it's a no-brainer IMHO.

If your phone suppprts running two SIMs at once, it has two IMEIs so as far as the network(s) are concerned it's two distinct handsets unless they deduce otherwise.

A fun aside: years ago I did some work for a small phone company (the company was small, not the phone) and they gave me a SIM with 100 numbers in a block and access to a portal I could manage them with. Sadly, I forgot to pay the annual £10 renewal fee.

"Lies". Just "lies".